Quiet Confidence Part 2

Note To Self: NEVER End Blog Posts With "See Ya OR More Tomorrow" Since you never know when your next post will be LOL :)

Like I said in the last blog post, I had had a kind of defining interaction that helped my confidence grow(not that it hasn't been shaken since but more on that later). I couldn't help but think of how what I felt may be of help to brides who are excited, nervous, uncertain, and frankly probably scared of the planning process and what it can involve.

Also as I said previously, "the words just came out, no hot flushed face, no second guessing what I said and no nervous shakes" Why's this a big deal? I grew up in a Midwestern, middle class, Christian home with good, loving yet strict parents. I felt I could speak yet was taught to respect elders(what they said went and to say anything contrary(no matter how respectfully) was unacceptable), no meant no and No argument was accepted(rarely), talking back got me smacked(yes that happened and I'm Still Here GASP). The first time I had a difference of opinion(you can also read that disagreement) with my mother, I was easily flustered and found myself wanting her to agree so bad it hurt when she didn't. I pressed forward though and it felt good to begin coming into my own separate and apart from my parents yet not wanting to completely abandon what they'd instilled in me.

Some of this came during my young adult life in the form of Dress Shopping, Budgeting, and so forth when I had various events that needed formal attire and required mom's help due to my limitations. With dresses, we both wanted something beautiful, well fitted, modest and good price. I found myself negotiating in the modesty department. I wanted her to like it as much as I did yet I didn't want to look frumpy or way older than I was. We usually found common ground and both felt good about the choice. I'm sure brides can relate. You've got a vision, you want to love it yourself and want others to love it as well. Having input from others is important yet not so much that you end up purchasing what They want instead of what You want. The same balance is needed when you have friends/family who may want you to consider/stay in keeping with certain traditions. My suggestion, hear everyone out and try to come to common ground on ideas and options that help people at least feel heard. When I finally find someone and choose to marry, I hope to share the dress search experience with friends yet I've decided I'll set parameters I thought I'd pass on in case any sound good:

1. Before shopping I'll choose 2-3(even if I have more bridesmaids) trusted friends who will hopefully enjoy this as much as me. They'll be people I know will tell me the truth in a kind way.
2. As for the number, I've decided to have No More than 3 because too many opinions and personalities might make for a more frustrating experience in the shop(s). I don't want to leave feeling like I shouldn't have put Aunt Jane and Friend Doe in the same room together, or let either believe they're in charge.
3. While girl talking, I would get input as to what they may feel would look good on me (fitNflare, mermaid, A-line etc.) Yet More Importantly I'll Know What I want.
4. Before heading to the shop(s) I'd kindly, yet firmly ask all in attendance to give honest feed back but no arguing while there and to be aware the final decision will be mine.

This may sound controlling but they way I see it, it's a way to have fun, keep things on track with your/my vision in mind, and to remind yourself and others It's YOUR Wedding!