Dreaming

 

 6/13/2019

 

As a planner I do research and information gathering about different aspects of weddings. Tonight I was researching styles and themes for weddings and looked at dresses. This's Hypothetical And Only Me Dreaming But These Are Two Styles I'd Choose From For Myself.  The First May Be Better Suited To My Body Type And Is Elegant But The Second.... WOW, It's Stunning!!

Looking back then moving forward

Recently I've seen FB posts from friends who are single and lamenting about past guys and trying to describe what they're looking for and it got me reminiscing about many years ago when I participated in online dating.  It was okay, getting to kind of window shop all the photos of fairly good looking guys and wondering if they'd looked at and liked my photo. Plus wondering if I said enough to describe myself and the type of person I was looking to date and/or spend my life with.  I have to laugh since mostly I used descriptor words like short, funny, kind, honest which are all fine but at the same time really don't say much. I had some success with responses. Mostly talking on the phone or e-mailing and what I got were guys that were either successful, financially stable, had ethics at the least but jerks or nice guys that I believe meant well but lacked motivation or financial maturity or morals. A couple were borderline abusive.  Praise God I wasn't so needy as to keep that kind in my life. Or the ones who loved and wanted to marry me the minute they read my profile. Those all of a sudden wanted me to send money and be a Nigerian bride LOL. See what I'm getting at. I lacked any sort frame of reference with my own experience so all I could describe was a person with maybe style but not much substance.

Thankfully I've grown to love, respect and trust me enough to look for more. And I Quit Throwing THOUSANDS away on online dating. I thought it'd be fun to write a 2019 version of a profile of what I'm looking for. This's For Fun And Probably Missing Traits For Myself Or My Person.

For starters I'm a medium height brown haired/eyed women who doesn't drink, smoke, do drugs, no kids. I have no tattoos and kinda proud of it. I live with Spina Bifida and have overcome a lot in life. I do my best to live a healthy and active life in spite of challenges.  I'm employed yet working to establish my own wedding consulting business.  I'm honest, maybe to a fault, polite but assertively direct(you'll hardly ever have to guess where you stand with me or guess what I want.) I'm a recovering people pleaser so I've learned to balance having people in my life without being a pushover or compromise beliefs/values.  I'm a Christian and believe in Jesus as the Son of God yet have my struggles with faith and am not perfect. I do my best to do to others as I'd like done to me.  Yet I can be feisty and give as well as I get. I'll do anything possible to help others without unhealthy care taking and giving more than I have.  Should I be married, I'll be a Godly wife without being a doormat who has no thoughts, feelings hopes and dreams of her own. On a fun note, I love going out and doing... from eating out, movies, concerts, theater, dancing(no bars), accessible sports, travel.

Now Who I'm Looking For

Medium height, late 30's-50ish. He should be someone who should have a sense of taking care of himself through athletics or active lifestyle without obsessing about it. He has a good funloving/serious work/life balance. He has no tattoos or earrings. He doesn't drink, smoke or do drugs. And doesn't have kids(Should we marry, I want us to have our own). He should be employed and hopefully enjoy what he does. Please have good money management.

He should be a Christian who believes in Jesus as the Son of God. I don't want perfect but, to me, he should live his values by being humble yet quietly confident in who he is, what he's capable of in life. He should also do what he can to help others as needed yet know how to help with a hand up. He gives the benefit of the doubt without being anyone's fool. He's a leader and stands for what he believes yet can admit faults and work to correct them and improve himself. He'll be someone I can lean on and into when things get hard.  He will be someone who loves and accepts me as I am with my disability and won't be ashamed of me. He'll fight for me as needed(I'll do the same for him) and take care of me when I can't(again I'll do the same for him). He'll be a Godly husband who's kind, loving, and outgoing to all yet his heart is only for me and mine for him. He and I will encourage each other and bring out the best in each other.

Sounds to perfect you say, maybe but based on what I've seen and experienced I Do Believe He's Out There

BACK AT IT

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NEW BLOG DESIGN...HOPE YA LIKE IT. BEEN GOING THROUGH SOME STUFF, HOPE TO POST WAY MORE OFTEN! :)



Back again

What a summer, fall and winter!  My last post, I was preparing to compete in the Ms. Wheelchair USA 2018 Pageant. It was, as usual fun, exciting and always a good way to make new friends and learn new things.  The last few months have been a mix of good, not so good in which I'm constantly stretching myself and growing.  The last few weeks in particular have in some ways taught me about and in others reminded me of my inner strength and how/when to speak for myself so as to have my needs met while not demanding "my way only." It's reminded me that as Philippines 4:13 says "I Can Do All Things Through Christ Who Strengthens Me." Anyway way... I could go on

Onto Wedding Things. I'd like to get some input. The last couple years have been mostly learning. There's a lot I know, yet I just heard of something new. A couple days ago I was doing some reading and read about weekday daytime weddings.  I had heard of, yet never attended a weekday evening wedding but never weekday daytime weddings. SOO... If you wouldn't mind, tell me

1. Have you ever attended one?
2  Any thoughts about convenience of time of day, location
3. Cons

Gotta go batteries dying, Thanks!

Pageant Time Again!

If you've followed my blog you may remember that I've participated in The Ms. Wheelchair USA Pageant in the past. Well, in April I was elected Ms. Wheelchair Ohio USA 2018 with a platform of promoting adoption, Ms. Wheelchair USA and The Dane Foundation which sponsors the pageant. I'm very excited to represent Ohio in the upcoming national pageant and meeting all the great ladies that will be coming.... There will be 15 of us in all. I'll do my best to update as the time approaches with pictures and more.

I'm so sorry I accidentally deleted Quiet confidence Part 3. I hope you saw it, if not I'll try to rewrite.

Quiet Confidence Part 2

Note To Self: NEVER End Blog Posts With "See Ya OR More Tomorrow" Since you never know when your next post will be LOL :)

Like I said in the last blog post, I had had a kind of defining interaction that helped my confidence grow(not that it hasn't been shaken since but more on that later). I couldn't help but think of how what I felt may be of help to brides who are excited, nervous, uncertain, and frankly probably scared of the planning process and what it can involve.

Also as I said previously, "the words just came out, no hot flushed face, no second guessing what I said and no nervous shakes" Why's this a big deal? I grew up in a Midwestern, middle class, Christian home with good, loving yet strict parents. I felt I could speak yet was taught to respect elders(what they said went and to say anything contrary(no matter how respectfully) was unacceptable), no meant no and No argument was accepted(rarely), talking back got me smacked(yes that happened and I'm Still Here GASP). The first time I had a difference of opinion(you can also read that disagreement) with my mother, I was easily flustered and found myself wanting her to agree so bad it hurt when she didn't. I pressed forward though and it felt good to begin coming into my own separate and apart from my parents yet not wanting to completely abandon what they'd instilled in me.

Some of this came during my young adult life in the form of Dress Shopping, Budgeting, and so forth when I had various events that needed formal attire and required mom's help due to my limitations. With dresses, we both wanted something beautiful, well fitted, modest and good price. I found myself negotiating in the modesty department. I wanted her to like it as much as I did yet I didn't want to look frumpy or way older than I was. We usually found common ground and both felt good about the choice. I'm sure brides can relate. You've got a vision, you want to love it yourself and want others to love it as well. Having input from others is important yet not so much that you end up purchasing what They want instead of what You want. The same balance is needed when you have friends/family who may want you to consider/stay in keeping with certain traditions. My suggestion, hear everyone out and try to come to common ground on ideas and options that help people at least feel heard. When I finally find someone and choose to marry, I hope to share the dress search experience with friends yet I've decided I'll set parameters I thought I'd pass on in case any sound good:

1. Before shopping I'll choose 2-3(even if I have more bridesmaids) trusted friends who will hopefully enjoy this as much as me. They'll be people I know will tell me the truth in a kind way.
2. As for the number, I've decided to have No More than 3 because too many opinions and personalities might make for a more frustrating experience in the shop(s). I don't want to leave feeling like I shouldn't have put Aunt Jane and Friend Doe in the same room together, or let either believe they're in charge.
3. While girl talking, I would get input as to what they may feel would look good on me (fitNflare, mermaid, A-line etc.) Yet More Importantly I'll Know What I want.
4. Before heading to the shop(s) I'd kindly, yet firmly ask all in attendance to give honest feed back but no arguing while there and to be aware the final decision will be mine.

This may sound controlling but they way I see it, it's a way to have fun, keep things on track with your/my vision in mind, and to remind yourself and others It's YOUR Wedding!